Recently I attended a conference at my Local Women's Shelter, and there was a speaker- Dr Jackson Katz. He has written about violent being a men's issue and has created curriculum in other countries (has tried here but they won't let him) that has severely reduced violence against women and men. I like your message and wanted to share a nugget of hope that this is something that is long overdue.
I think it's important that people rethink violence from an individual lense of hatred and resentment (which it can encompass), to a form of sociol control and domination. But also a form of resistance. Multiple truths can exist here.
Cishet men (particularly white cishet men in western society) have a monopoly on violence. We live in a hyper masculine, patriarchal society, that teaches boy's the necessity of violence in order to maintain one's position in society. They are taught to access violance at a whim, it's their god given right, “Boy's will be boy's”. It's in the ease a white boy can read a few reddit posts, watch some fox news and go on a shooting spree. If you are queer, a woman or anyone but a cishet white man, violence is a sin, a character flaw on your part. Why??? Because You having access to violence is a threat to “ white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism”.
hey there... after reading this (i am a white male) i became a paid subscriber.... you are 100% on target this this and the few minor points that i disagree with would be lost in the sauce. one merely has to go back thru written history to see this pattern repeated over and over. laws are written, history is re-written, society is structured so that white males are in charge. through hundreds and hundreds of generations we have raised our little white males to think that they world and all the things in it are there for their pleasure. men establishing the "natural laws" of the world point back to Adam and Eve, and Eve being made from Adam's rib as "evidence" women should be subservient.. there are some wonderful books written about the witch trials in Scotland, Europe and in the American colonies that show that burning witches (predominantly women) had far less to do with witchcraft than in keeping women in line and subservient. King James the VI wrote a long treatise on why women were witches, why women were more susceptible to the "temptations of the devil" than men, etc. etc. etc. we wrote laws prohibiting women from voting, from holding land, etc. because they were not intellectually capable of doing either... not because they were, but because men wanted to keep them as possessions, as property, and it would certainly not do well to have property voting or owning land! the pattern held for slaves... same language... intellectually inferior, etc. The Catholic Church authorized the enslavement and pillaging of lands that were "not white Christian".... To this day, get in a discussion with a lot of men, and quickly the "discussion" degrades to either 2nd grade name calling or threats of violence. We as a society have raised these men to be this way and it has become engrained in our culture... the Texas pastor recently pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a 12 year old girl over a long period of time gets six month sentence (needs to server six months out of a 10 year sentence). we constantly doubt or challenge any woman who reports a sexual assault or rape as "asking for it", "was consensual..." etc. Violence is a societal issue that appears in men. we reward violence, we worship violence (how many movies are made about violent men, good or bad, vs intellectual men?) violence is painted as the solution to everything. look at how we portray violent people in pop culture vs how we portray smart people or artistic people, or empathetic people, or spiritual people... the violent ones are rugged, good looking, and dont take shit from anyone... smart people are portrayed as socially disfunctional (big bang theory best example ever!!!), artistic people portrayed as flighty, space cadets that dont know how to change a tire or use a hammer!!! male artistic people are portrayed as gay... right and wrong take a back seat to force... our fine DOD puts out a video of Hegseth reciting the Lord's prayer while the screen shows guns, soldiers, tanks, missiles, and the such... force is now Godliness.. men get to decide what happens with a woman's body, men get to make the rules that are there to protect women from men... only when we change how we measure manhood in this country and world will this change. and it is like looking at Congress to reform Congress... a challenge to say the least
thank you for reading and your paid subscription! the creation of patriarchy is one of my favorite books that addresses exactly how religion played a massive role in patriarchy overtaking the world.
Great post. Ive just written an article on the same subject, discussing how men (dads, teachers, social workers) are not stepping up to talk with young men about gender inequality.
I don’t think that many men have the emotional intelligence to even have the conversation.
My country is such a hellscape that if every problematic man dropped dead, there would be like 15 guys alive there, it’s so difficult living as a queer man being surrounded by embodiments of patriarchy. It’s always nice to read your work, it’s like a breath of fresh air! 💞🌺🩷
‘Working to end violence’ It’s a grandiose, unrealistic and utopian goal. Its very worthwhile to work to reduce violence , minimise its effects or help those affected by violence recover but to ‘end violence’. That will never happen and as with all utopias if pursued to the exclusion of all other consideration something that would lead to great harm. Its a bad idea to set an unrealistic unachievable goal.
‘End violence against women’ Why women in particular? Its not a bad thing in itself but its odd that the goal is to reduce violence against women when women are subject to less violence than any other group, less than girls far less than boys and men. It feels uncomfortable to seek to aid only those most advantaged and ignore those who suffer to a greater extent.
i said neither of these statements in my piece and i’m actually unsure why you’re commenting it here. in fact, i said minimal violence, never said getting rid of it completely.
in regards to your second statement. focusing on one marginalized group does not mean the rest are irrelevant. critical thinking.
This may be the most accurate piece I’ve read all year.
i really appreciate that! thank you for reading.
love this wording, thank you!
Recently I attended a conference at my Local Women's Shelter, and there was a speaker- Dr Jackson Katz. He has written about violent being a men's issue and has created curriculum in other countries (has tried here but they won't let him) that has severely reduced violence against women and men. I like your message and wanted to share a nugget of hope that this is something that is long overdue.
I really appreciate this, best read of the year!
I think it's important that people rethink violence from an individual lense of hatred and resentment (which it can encompass), to a form of sociol control and domination. But also a form of resistance. Multiple truths can exist here.
Cishet men (particularly white cishet men in western society) have a monopoly on violence. We live in a hyper masculine, patriarchal society, that teaches boy's the necessity of violence in order to maintain one's position in society. They are taught to access violance at a whim, it's their god given right, “Boy's will be boy's”. It's in the ease a white boy can read a few reddit posts, watch some fox news and go on a shooting spree. If you are queer, a woman or anyone but a cishet white man, violence is a sin, a character flaw on your part. Why??? Because You having access to violence is a threat to “ white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism”.
thank you for reading!!
Incredible piece 👏🏽
One of the best reads of the year!
thank you so much 💖
hey there... after reading this (i am a white male) i became a paid subscriber.... you are 100% on target this this and the few minor points that i disagree with would be lost in the sauce. one merely has to go back thru written history to see this pattern repeated over and over. laws are written, history is re-written, society is structured so that white males are in charge. through hundreds and hundreds of generations we have raised our little white males to think that they world and all the things in it are there for their pleasure. men establishing the "natural laws" of the world point back to Adam and Eve, and Eve being made from Adam's rib as "evidence" women should be subservient.. there are some wonderful books written about the witch trials in Scotland, Europe and in the American colonies that show that burning witches (predominantly women) had far less to do with witchcraft than in keeping women in line and subservient. King James the VI wrote a long treatise on why women were witches, why women were more susceptible to the "temptations of the devil" than men, etc. etc. etc. we wrote laws prohibiting women from voting, from holding land, etc. because they were not intellectually capable of doing either... not because they were, but because men wanted to keep them as possessions, as property, and it would certainly not do well to have property voting or owning land! the pattern held for slaves... same language... intellectually inferior, etc. The Catholic Church authorized the enslavement and pillaging of lands that were "not white Christian".... To this day, get in a discussion with a lot of men, and quickly the "discussion" degrades to either 2nd grade name calling or threats of violence. We as a society have raised these men to be this way and it has become engrained in our culture... the Texas pastor recently pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a 12 year old girl over a long period of time gets six month sentence (needs to server six months out of a 10 year sentence). we constantly doubt or challenge any woman who reports a sexual assault or rape as "asking for it", "was consensual..." etc. Violence is a societal issue that appears in men. we reward violence, we worship violence (how many movies are made about violent men, good or bad, vs intellectual men?) violence is painted as the solution to everything. look at how we portray violent people in pop culture vs how we portray smart people or artistic people, or empathetic people, or spiritual people... the violent ones are rugged, good looking, and dont take shit from anyone... smart people are portrayed as socially disfunctional (big bang theory best example ever!!!), artistic people portrayed as flighty, space cadets that dont know how to change a tire or use a hammer!!! male artistic people are portrayed as gay... right and wrong take a back seat to force... our fine DOD puts out a video of Hegseth reciting the Lord's prayer while the screen shows guns, soldiers, tanks, missiles, and the such... force is now Godliness.. men get to decide what happens with a woman's body, men get to make the rules that are there to protect women from men... only when we change how we measure manhood in this country and world will this change. and it is like looking at Congress to reform Congress... a challenge to say the least
thank you for reading and your paid subscription! the creation of patriarchy is one of my favorite books that addresses exactly how religion played a massive role in patriarchy overtaking the world.
I will look that up… I’m waiting through two books now on similar topics one of which is the burning of witches in Scotland
Great post. Ive just written an article on the same subject, discussing how men (dads, teachers, social workers) are not stepping up to talk with young men about gender inequality.
I don’t think that many men have the emotional intelligence to even have the conversation.
Thanks Cat. Keep it up!
This was so god damn satisfying to read. Thank you for saying the truth I feel the same way.
absolutely, thank you for reading
The numbers make the argument impossible to dodge, which is why so much effort goes into dodging it anyway. Excellent writing, cannot agree more!
thank you!!
dear evil woman:
My country is such a hellscape that if every problematic man dropped dead, there would be like 15 guys alive there, it’s so difficult living as a queer man being surrounded by embodiments of patriarchy. It’s always nice to read your work, it’s like a breath of fresh air! 💞🌺🩷
I don't know why we live in a society where violence still exists, and in such cruel ways... murders, rapes, wars... what is happening to humanity...
‘Working to end violence’ It’s a grandiose, unrealistic and utopian goal. Its very worthwhile to work to reduce violence , minimise its effects or help those affected by violence recover but to ‘end violence’. That will never happen and as with all utopias if pursued to the exclusion of all other consideration something that would lead to great harm. Its a bad idea to set an unrealistic unachievable goal.
‘End violence against women’ Why women in particular? Its not a bad thing in itself but its odd that the goal is to reduce violence against women when women are subject to less violence than any other group, less than girls far less than boys and men. It feels uncomfortable to seek to aid only those most advantaged and ignore those who suffer to a greater extent.
i said neither of these statements in my piece and i’m actually unsure why you’re commenting it here. in fact, i said minimal violence, never said getting rid of it completely.
in regards to your second statement. focusing on one marginalized group does not mean the rest are irrelevant. critical thinking.